#Stay at home

Teresa Arteaga^[1]

The terror of something completely vague, fear of being unprotected, the voices of other people amplified, the silhouettes that seem to attack, the noise of cars that deafens, the sunlight that blinds, the heart that explodes, the voice that breaks, constant dizziness and the desperate desire to return home so that all this disappears and thus one enters a spiral of fear, anxiety and avoidance that devours life, dreams, relationships and independence.

The feeling of terror is so destructive that one avoids entering shops, warehouses, restaurants, public places, traveling on trains, buses or planes, avoiding crowds, meetings, classes and little by little, almost without noticing, the house becomes the only space that is possible to inhabit.

This is how agoraphobia takes hold of thousands of lives. Psychiatrists affirm that it is one of the most debilitating diagnoses, resulting in a significant loss of quality of life, as daily activities are severely limited. This generates suffering and guilt, since assistance from others is needed to perform tasks that would be basic for anyone else. Life becomes precariously confined to the private space: the home.

This confinement is anything but pleasant; it brings with it much suffering. The suffering stems from the fact that "life locked up in a house is not life." Clearly, "the house" is a feminized, undervalued space, associated with caregiving, unproductivity, and domestic chores. It is a place where dreams are cut short, where economic independence is nearly impossible. While the person confined due to agoraphobia fears "being outside," they yearn for that public, masculinized space where the capable, the powerful, the independent, the dreamers, those with a purpose in life reside.

Men who suffer from agoraphobia don't feel capable of fulfilling their role as providers and protectors, and their masculinity crumbles. They are criticized by their own families and labeled "lazy and cowardly." Women cope with confinement by dedicating their days to caring for others, although frustration and anxiety also take hold of their minds and bodies, and their contributions are often overlooked since caring for others is deemed meaningless. When some days the discomfort becomes purely physical and getting out of bed is impossible, the lack of understanding, denial, and ridicule of the situation affect everyone.

It is evident that the space-gender division radically shapes what it means to "stay home." This is just one example that challenges and invites us to redefine, decolonize, and denaturalize spaces. This division of spaces is a foundation for sustaining patriarchy, as it constructs social hierarchies and, therefore, various forms of oppression. Hierarchies establish the superiority of some over others. This is why psychiatric patients are feminized, considered inferior, dependent, socially useless, and economically unproductive.

A physical illness is considered hierarchically superior to a mental one. It's often assumed that someone with a psychiatric disorder "is like that because they want to be," "lacks willpower," "wants attention," or "is weak." The truth is, all these characterizations only demonstrate the prejudiced and discriminatory social construct that directly affects the treatment and care these people receive.

#StayHome has become a real challenge, in this case because once the quarantine is lifted, thousands of people will remain locked up, fearful of the world and their own minds. It is also a challenge for women victims of violence who are experiencing further abuse during quarantine and are even being murdered. It is a challenge for children who share their homes with their abusers, who no longer have school as a possible escape, even a temporary one. It is a challenge for the homeless, for those at borders or in asylum camps.

The truth is that these situations weren't caused by the quarantine; it merely brought them to light and exposed the idealized space of "home," revealing all the inequality, violence, hierarchy, and power it embodies. It demonstrated that for some, it's a safe haven, but for the vast majority, it's a space of risk and danger. Undoubtedly, this difficult time revealed the urgent need to build egalitarian, respectful, loving, supportive, and sisterly spaces where everyone can unleash their vital energy without the destructive binary hierarchy.

^[1] Doctor of Science and Humanities, Master of Social Sciences specializing in Anthropology, Bachelor of Psychology. Assistant to the Director of Research at CLACSO.